For you that just want a one word explanation: "INSANE" (Insaner than the workout Insanity!) Giving birth was the hardest thing I have ever done, harder than Challenge, harder than hard...
Well, This is me. I was at 10 centimeters with contractions every couple of minutes but I was happy, calm and able to breath through them with the help of my amazing husband(best friend) breathing me through them and my very good friend that is like a sister to me massaging my feet and encouraging me every step of the way. By the way... do you think I have enough pillows? LOL.
This is a picture of Russell breathing me through the contractions, helping me to relax. I did not have an epidural at this point. I wanted to go all-natural but was open to getting the epidural if I needed it.
"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love Him." - James 1:12
I'm not exactly sure the times of which everything happened and honestly I'm not exactly sure of what actually happened... So, to the best of my knowledge and understanding and memory I will explain my birthing experience to you...
So, here it goes.... I'm not sure when 'active labor' actually started. We got to the hospital around 2pm on Monday, June 6th. I was 41 weeks pregnant at this point. If I had not dilated any they were going to use the folly bulb to soften my cervix. Praise the Lord, when they got me hooked up and checked I was 3 centimeters and 75% effaced. They told us to just hang out and at 5am they would start the Pitocin which helps induce/progress labor. Well, Jerilyn and Russell and I watched movies and ate Pizza Hut pizza! Yum... ok Jerilyn and I talked through most of the movies. I'd missed her so much and now miss her!!! Oh kayyyy, back to the labor story.... My mucus plug came out that night and I believe some of my water broke. I was having contractions 5 minutes apart all through out the night and I did not get any sleep. Neither did Russell who was talking with me and trying to make me as comfortable as possible all night. And neither did Jerilyn (i think) since she had to sleep out in the waiting room and how could you possibly get sleep in a waiting room filled with people? Well, 5 am came and they did the Pitocin. Then the contractions really kicked in. They came and checked me at 8am and I was 8cm. 8:30am I was 10 but had a little lip and we decided we would wait until that went away. I was still talking, and laughing but mainly focusing on breathing correctly but I was fine at this point. 9:00am came and the midwife came in and we decided that it was time to push. I started pushing at exactly 9:15. After about an hour and half of non stop pushing I really felt as if I could not take it any longer. I could feel him shaking in my canal literally. I told the midwife something is not right, I need the epidural NOW!! She continued to tell me it is to late. I also begged and pleaded for a doctor, she continued to tell me that a doctor can not get in here now and that the baby was too far down in the canal for a c section. (Which is totally a lie) She kept saying "it is too late for a c section, there is nothing we can do. You have to push this baby out." (Plenty of doctors and others have told me that it is NEVER too late for a c-section). Well, I continued to push, every single kind of way. From laying on my side pushing, to my back, to standing up squatting and so on. They kept saying they could see his head every time I pushed but he never crowned. He was stuck BUT I was determined to push my son out and hold him. I continued to endure the pain and I continued to pray "God you are my refuge and strength, I praise you." Over and over I would say this in my head.
Well, I started to panic and I said I've had enough. I grabbed Russells face and said "You are not being my spouse, I need HELP. Tell them I want an epidural now". They continued to tell me it was too late and I couldnt have it. I said "I need some kind of pain medicine now, and a doctor, something is not right." And she said "Your body can handle more than you think." No my body had had enough. I then looked at Jerilyn and started to yell at her (Sorry Jerilyn) and I said "Get them to help me, Jerilyn." Russell and Jerilyn were both crying. They felt helpless. They said they couldnt help, they thought the midwife knew what she was doing. Well, I said "I'm going to rip these IV's out and walk out of this hospital if yall do not get a doctor in here and get me pain medicine, I don't know what I am going to do with a baby hanging out of me, but if ya'll do not get me a doctor I'ma go crazy." I have never been suicidal in my life, nor homicidal but that very moment I was both.
Finally, they got an anesthesiologist in there. He did this thing called a spinal tap. Just a one shot thing that is suppose to leave me numb for a few hours. Well, they told me to lay down. About 30 minutes later I told them I could feel everything and they said I couldn't. I said I can, I want to stand up and squat and push and they told me to kick there hands to prove I wasn't numb and boy was I kicking those hands. So, they had me stand up and squat and push. I was feeling every single thing once again. I'm guessing he missed where he was suppose to inject the pain medicine (?).
Well, around 12:05 A DOCTOR finally came in!!!!! :) My dad was outside of the door of the room in the hall way and was fussing the people out telling them a doctor needs to get into that room now. Well, my nurse went out he said and she said "I don't know why they haven't gotten a doctor but I'm getting one." The doctor came in FINALLY and it seemed like the whole hospital was up in there. I mean I had the midwives, docs, nurses and they Mommas up in there... LOL Anyways doc said the baby was in fetal distress and they got the vacuum extraction and literally put there hands inside of me to put the vacuum on his head and told me to push. I pushed as hard as I could as they suctioned his head and then he was out at 12:15 after her furiously yanking on his neck after she had gotten his head out. Once he was completely out; they immediately layed my precious son my chest.
This moment right here, was the best moment of my life after salvation and marriage. This moment was like none other and this moment I will remember forever. I never thought I could love something as much as I do my big boy Jeremiah. I just kept repeating "I love you buddy, I love you Jeremiah, I love you, I love you, oh I love you!" 3 hours of straight pushing and finally my bullfrog Jeremiah was on this earth!! :)
Then Russell got to cut Jeremiah's cord. :)
This is my sister in Christ and really good friend Jerilyn. Jeremiah's Aunti J-Momma! :) She was with me through out the whole horrific delivery.
They let me hold Jeremiah for the whole hour and a half while they stitched me up. They did not give me a number of how many stitches I have, I just remember him saying it was like putting a jigsaw puzzle back together. The midwife said she had delivered over 1,100 babies in 5 years and that was the worse tear she had ever seen. So, she could not stitch me up. The doctor had to and it was the worst tear he had ever stitched up. I received a third degree tear. I tore down into my anus, up through my uretha and all inside through scar tissue and my pelvic floor muscles and vaginal wall muscles. I also tore through all my rectle muscles, periliem and spincter. I could not walk for over 2 weeks SERIOUSLY. After delivery they had me on percoset 1,000 miligram every 4 hours which wern't doing jack. Then Vicoden, then Oxycoden and They also did morphene. And ice packs. But nothing was helping. I could not move a centimeter without crying. I was crying without moving, it was so horrific and painful. Well, Jeremiah weighed 8 Pounds and 11 Ounces and was 20 Inches long. The weird thing is they didn't weigh him until like 2 hours later... couldn't he have lost a few ounces then because they lose weight right in the beginning? Also, Jeremiah had a huge bump from the vacuum that they said was fluid and would go down in 1 to 2 months. It's been over 2 months and the bump is still there and is hard as a rock, i think it's his scull. I really hope it goes down.
Also, the midwife came into my room and kept apologizing over and over again saying "If i knew he was stuck, i would have gotten a doctor in there sooner, you should have had a c section. I'm so sorry." Well, too late now... 11 weeks later and my muscles still aren't functioning correctly. For the first month after delivery I really felt helpless and like an incapable mother. I could do nothing but lay there and breastfeed. Russell was home for a week and did everything else. Then, my mom came down the following week and helped me tons.
Jeremiah with His grandma. This is her 10th grandchild :)
Then it all started. I was in and out of the ER and then in and out of the doctors. My stitches came out. I was bleeding too much. I had viral menigitis, tonsilitus, a vaginal infection and now my muscles are jacked up still. The list goes on... but point is LABOR DAY?? How hard could it be?
All in all. God is good!! :) The pain I endured was well worth it because I have the cutest son ever!! FOR REAL FOR REAL!! :)
This is Jeremiah at 10 weeks old. Isn't he is the cutest ever??? You don't have to answer that because I already know the answer!! YES :)
Can't believe I am saying this (or writing this) but I would do it all over again... I'm totally waiting but I also can't wait until we have another little baby... hopefully a girl!!! I love my husband and my son forever and ever AMEN!!! :)
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28
